Here’s a little something-something on facts about semen. Check it out!

oppressionisyucky:

What is cissexism?  A person is cis or cisgender when a person does not identify themselves as trans. Cissexism is enacted through behaviors and beliefs that reinforce a system where being cis and gender conforming is given more legitimacy than being trans.

What is benevolent sexism? Sexism is enacted through behaviors and beliefs that reinforce a system where masculinity is given more legitimacy than femininity. Benevolent sexism is where sexism is enacted in a way that is supposed to be kind but is demeaning to the receiver and continues to reinforce a system where masculinity is more valued. An example of this is men not letting women carry heavy things, the idea is chivalry, but what it enacts is a system where women are treated as less capable and reinforces the idea that all women are less strong than all men.

Okay, so what is benevolent cissexism? Benevolent cissexism is enacted through deeds that are intended to be kind but are actually demeaning to the receiver and continue to reinforce a system where cis and gender conformity is more valued. Any person can enact benevolent cissexism.

Examples of benevolent cissexism and how they contribute to a cissexist structure:

Example 1: “You pass so well”

Why it is well intentioned: In sociology there is this concept of being an honorary member of a majority group, it is intended nicely because this brings with it some privileges that majority status holders enjoy.

How it reinforces cissexism: In a broad sense, the concept of an honorary member is problematic because it doesn’t change the power dynamics occurring and reinforces them. It appeals to US Society’s obsession with meritocracy and the idea that if someone wants something badly enough, they will find a way to get it and then they have earned the right to be privileged. An honorary member then is still seen as other, most majority statuses a person is born into and therefore their place in that majority status is unlikely to be questioned, an honorary member though is always up for scrutiny. An honorary member can have that status revoked by those with majority status. There is also the element of invisibilzation, where because society isn’t recognizing something visually, the attention and resources are directed toward other places. To focus it more on how this form of benevolent cissexism is hurtful to those with trans identities, invisibilzation is dangerous because there is a sense of if “nobody can tell you’re trans then you do not receive any problems from your trans identity” which is untrue. While there is nothing inherently wrong with passing as cis and can make life easier and safer for some individuals there is the assumption that passing is superior because looking cis is superior. This reinforces the idea that cis and gender conformity is the ideal. The strong focus on passing and the presentation policing that creates takes away the agency of the person who is presenting to decide how they want to be perceived and what makes them feel like they look awesome because ultimately that is the important thing. It should also be noted that the term passing has roots in many minority communities. The term passing is most known for its roots in communities of color which have similar problems of the more white a person looks the more they are valued. In many communities of color this is still a contentious issue and it is also a contentious issue in trans communities.

Example 2: “You look very feminine/masculine today!”

Why it is well intentioned: Clearly the only thing trans people think about is how they look and so letting them know that they are meeting your approval for what looking feminine or masculine means to you will really mean a lot.

How it reinforces cissexism: This reinforces the idea that the gender binary is the most important aspect to a trans person’s identity again because being as close to cis and gender conforming as possible is the goal. When this is coming from a cis person it also reinforces the idea that those holding majority status are the arbitrators on how things should be. This isn’t to say compliments are bad, if you think someone is looking particularly fantastic that day then say so (if you have a relationship with them that makes that not super creepy).

Example 3: “But I fuck trans people!”

Why it is well intentioned: This is like “I have a friend who is [minority status]” but taken to a deeper level.   

How it reinforces cissexism: It creates this idea that being cis and deigning to sleep with someone who is not cis makes the person really really great; they are suuuuuuch a saint for sleeping with someone who is trans. People also like to fall back on this while being called out on cissexism. Having sex with someone does not magically connect you with their soul whereupon you could never do anything hurtful to them or their ilk ever again. It also flattens the humanity of whoever you slept with down to just one part of their identity.  (There are also those who are fetishizing trans people, but that is a much larger topic for a different day. I also want to say that I am very pro sleeping with people one finds attractive, I am anti using your relationship with a person to excuse yourself from hurtful actions).

Example 4: In sexual situations refusing to touch anything even with express consent/encouragement

Why it is well intentioned: People read about dysphoria and are understandably very interested in keeping the person they want to sleep with safe. 

How it reinforces cissexism: While dysphoria is a real thing and boundaries are important and need to be respected refusing to do anything (for fear of creating dysphoria, refusing because you think it is gross or refusing because of your own boundaries are very different things) creates this idea that trans people are fragile and don’t know how to keep themselves safe.

Example 5: “You’re more than welcome in our bathroom! There is nothing to fear! You’re being silly!”

Why it is well intentioned: The idea is to be reassuring.

How it reinforces cissexism: While it would be nice if everyone could just be super cozy using the restroom wherever they wanted, that isn’t a reality for a lot of trans people. There are legitimate fears about going into a bathroom where not everyone will identify you as belonging. People have called the police and people have attacked trans people. Not acknowledging these goes back to the idea that the speaker knows best and the person with the fear just isn’t being logical.

To wrap up, I would like to say that if you are feeling defensive because you’ve done these things and did not intend them to hurt; I have also done many of these things without intention to hurt. There also might be things here that you’ve experienced and they made you feel very accepted and good, I’m not trying to invalidate those experiences but rather call attention to the larger structures they contribute to. We are all socialized into a cissexist society and that shapes the way we act, the response to that should not be to condemn individuals but to condemn society while at the same time taking accountability for our own place in continuing that structure. I’ve included five examples here; it seemed like a reasonable number to give some scope and an idea of what I mean when I use the term “benevolent cissexism”. I would love to have a larger discussion about it in the comments and more examples others have seen or how these examples have or have not played out in your own life.

Copyright: Callie Reynolds, November 24, 2011 All Rights Reserved.

(via genderwarriors)